Wednesday, April 1, 2015

#IRS Loses Big Bet

Takes on IRS, and wins!

Periodically, to break the monotony of constantly publishing new revelations about 
the current Administration's abject corruption and widespread criminal activities, 
we choose to publish a bit of humor
much of it old and previously [or anonymously] published.  
Today’s post falls into those categories.

[With thanks to John S Roberts for republishing this classic story]

The IRS called Grandpa in for an audit, and the auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor opened by stating that Grandpa was being audited since he demonstrated an extravagant lifestyle with no visible employment or stated source of income, other than “gambling”. 

“We find that hard to believe.”

Grandpa responds
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it!  Would you like a demonstration?”

Grandpa bets the auditor $1,000 that he can bite his own eye, and the auditor is hesitant, but agrees since such an act would be impossible.

To the auditor’s astonishment, Grandpa then removes his glass eye and bites it, winning the bet. 

Grandpa then bets the auditor $2,000 that he can bite his other eye; and, the auditor, noting that Grandpa is not blind - and such an act would be physically impossible, takes the bet, after which the Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his other eye.

The auditor is now down $3,000 and is clearly nervous; so Grandpa proposes he go double or nothing, and proposes a $6,000 bet that he can stand on one side of the auditor’s desk, pee over it into a wastebasket on the other side of the desk, and not get a drop of pee anywhere between.

The auditor, now heavily in debt, decides this is an absolutely impossible physical act and a sure win, and takes the bet.

Grandpa positions himself, unzips, and proceeds to unleash his albeit weak stream, which falls short of the wastebasket and saturates the auditor’s desktop. 

The auditor has won the bet and is ecstatic, but notes Grandpa’s lawyer is moaning and has his head in his hands.  He asks if the lawyer is OK, and the lawyer responds:

“No, I’m not.  
"This morning, Grandpa asked me to join him at the auditor’s office and bet me $25,000 that he could come in here and pee all over your desk, and that you’d be happy about it!”