Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Burma: Next War?

Burma:  Can we successfully turn this country into our next war zone?         [CIA]

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In our never-ending pursuit of new battlegrounds to justify the purchase and implementation of the latest high-tech weaponry to kill off select new enemies, it appears we are arming the Burmese military, to umm, protect Burma from umm, evil-doers

Surrounded by the non-threatening states of India, China, and Thailand, Burma has successfully isolated itself from outside interference -- until now.

Should we invade?                      [Encyclopedia Britannica]

Lets face it, if the Nips couldn't defeat the Burmese during World War II, and the Chinese couldn't develop a strong enough Communist insurgency after World War II to convert it, and the Burmese military declared Martial Law to keep the population in check, somehow, we doubt that there is an external threat the Burmese have to worry about [screw this kumbaya name of Myanmar!].

Let's do a quick review of Burma's history.
Irriwadi River Valley
Early on [9th Century] the Burmans [thus the name Burma -- not Myanmarans] moved in from the Tibetan Empire and what is now Yunan Province in China and down through the Irrawadi River valley and bumped out the earlier settlers.  They created the Pagan Kingdom, which settled most of the open area of the valley and developed the Burmese language and culture and established Buddhism as the primary religion.

Things went well until the Mongols galloped in; you may remember Ghenghis Khan who made a name for himself by annihilating entire civilizations, but also, by promoting the Uyghur culture - which is now causing the modern Chinese no end of annoyance.

But, the empire thrived with the infusion of new blood and the rise of the Taungoo Dynasty, and became the largest empire ever in Southeast Asia.  But, by the 19th Century, the peace-loving Brits who conquered much of Asia with their corporate army of the British East India Company, sought control of Burma's natural resources of teak, gems, and a variety of minerals.

Now today, Burma is our target because it has, surprise: natural gas and OIL!

So, we are about to assert our Noblesse Oblige and figure out a way to start a war by assisting the Burmese military protect the country from -- you guessed it -- Terrorists.  Now, these terrorists would just happen to be the ethnic folks whose environments have been destroyed and whose assets have been seized by -- the Burmese government. 

Kachin Tribe [aka: Terrorists] in Ceremonial Dress

And, by God! it is our sworn duty to help protect the Burmese government from these heathens in the Burmese heartland.

How dare the Kachin, Shan, Kayah, Karen, and Mon challenge the Burmese government and military. 

Why, they're acting like the Native Americans did against their federal government!

Now, the one area the government ignores is the eastern portion of the country where the poppy flowers flourish, and the Nationalist Chinese [the Kuo Min Tang] operated their heroin factories to create the Golden Triangle as a pivot point of Southeast Asia, and the couriers of their product via the infamous Black Helicopters which US forces were prohibited from shooting down.  Officially, we allowed/supported/promoted/participated in this narcotics trade because Nationalist China was/is/might be our Ally, and could be a challenge to the PRC at some mind-numbingly remote point in the future.

America needs to invade Burma!
So, here we are, in the early stages of the 21st Century; we've pretty much destroyed much of the Middle East to placate Benjamin Netanyahu and AIPAC to protect Israel; and we have made ourselves the designated enemy of the our former friends and allies: Iraq, Iran, Eqypt, Syria, Afghanistan. Lebanon, Libya, -- and that list just goes on, doesn't it.

But, we need enemies.  We tried to get involved in Syria, but the American people told their Congresspeople that they would be drawn and quartered if they involved us in another Middle East war to satisfy Netanyahu.

And then, North Korea was our designated enemy, but, that nonsense simply couldn't gain traction since they fired the only missile in their inventory into the Pacific, falling a thousand miles or so short of its target, and we had so much firepower in South Korea that the war would have been over in a matter of minutes; and you damned well can't make a solid profit in a 30 minute war! Besides, it's difficult to draw out a land war that only took 30 minutes to complete.

Flirt with that blond again, I dare you!

We'd start a war with China, but we owe them too much money, and they'd foreclose on our Capitol and the White House, and Congressional pensions; and, as for Russia, Putin told obama that if he started anything with Russia, Putin would bitch-slap him worse than any beating Michelle had ever laid on Barack. 

We can't fight the Pakistanis, since they helped stage the bogus killing of Osama bin Laden, and if we invaded them, they'd rat out obama on that scam. 

The Indians?
Nah! They manage most of our computer systems and cloud storage, not to speak of almost all of our Help Desk Call Centers -- and who would process all our orders for Amazon and Best Buy.

And there you have it.  We're almost out of enemies and places to stage a war.

The solution? 

Why Burma, of course. 
It has a ready-made insurgent population as pissed off as our very own Native Americans were because the government screwed them out of their lands and resources, and relegated them to Third Class Citizen status.

And, look at that landscape.
Why, it's ideal for tank warfare, and our West Point grads could reenact any number of World War II battles [well, they'd have to get the Chinese to play a proxy war so we'd have someone to fight], and, by golly, we'd need a whole new generation of counter-insurgency aircraft -- and these would be, you guessed it, the phenomenally expensive F-35, which costs nearly $200 Million per plane.
That wouldn't be an issue were it not for the fact that drones have made both the fighter and the pilot obsolete.

Bottom Line: 
Will we sell arms to, and join forces with the Burmese Army to wage a war against the Burmese citizens?

Umm, there's megabucks worth of oil and natural gas there!
What do YOU  think!